Jan 27

Jan 27 poem: michael c

at the end of the day i felt so unraveled

i peeled off parts of me i though were you

put my likes in a box along with my smile

put my wants in a box along with my vulnerability

i carved parts out of myself and still

“theres no room here.” and “not for you.”

my head got lost in the shuffling of packing

but i remember you tell me one thing

and do another.

when you retreated against your word

you retreated against me

so i did too

i abandoned awareness.

i thought i could fill the holes you left me with but

bones to hold me up and the heart to keep me going

fell past the wall of my stomach

onto the floor

and they abandoned me

and everyone just watched

and they abandoned me

while with your words

i gutted 20 years of self

and i abandoned me

these holes in me didn’t stop the anger in you

me, by my neck

you knew what you wanted and you went out and got it.

Künstler navigating between the southern and northern nodes of the moon.

[Michael, if you’re seeing this, I’d love to hear from you. sv]